The Dating, Engagement, Marriage and Family Life

Dating is a social activity in which two people engage in romantic or sexual attraction to each other, with the goal of assessing each other's suitability as a partner for a more serious, long-term relationship. Dating can involve a variety of activities, such as going out to dinner, seeing a movie, going for a walk, or participating in a shared hobby or interest.

If you have ever wondered if you are on a date with someone, Elder Dallin H. Oaks provided the 3 p’s to pass in order to tell if something is or isn’t a date: Is it planned? Is it paired off? Is it paid for? While it is not a mandatory list, we can see the benefits the 3 p’s of a date can provide when looking for a partner.

1. Planning: Whether we like it or not, planning shows a lot of skills because it requires different abilities such as searching for activities, creating a budget, arranging transportation, making a schedule, etc. It doesn’t always have to be the man who plans the date and that could provide insight for both into how good the other is at the mentioned skills.

2. Pairing off: While hanging out in a group can be fun, we can tell a lot about a person’s character and personality when we are in a one-on-one setting. We can assess the intentions and levels of the morality of someone in a personal meeting.

3. Paying for: This one is very interesting because men are often socially obligated to pay for dates, which I find totally find although a little outdated, especially considering the gender equality we are trying to achieve nowadays. However, we can learn a lot about others based on the effort of taking care of one another.

In summary, a date is a planned activity done one-on-one with someone, that is meant for gaining knowledge about that person, building a connection with them, and having a good time. It could lead to a further relationship, or it could just be a one-time experience.

Now, in the world we live in, dating is fading away and it is being replaced with other forms of romantic/social interactions that do not require that much effort.

The first notable change in the dating culture is the steady rise in the number of couples who cohabit or live together prior to marriage. Between 1965 and 1974, only 11% of women in the United States lived with their partner before marriage. Today, that percentage has jumped to nearly 75% of couples in the United States cohabiting.

One effect of cohabitation is that it can lead to lower rates of marriage. Cohabiting couples may choose to remain unmarried for various reasons, including financial concerns, a desire for independence, or a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship.

Research has also shown that couples who cohabit before marriage may be more likely to experience relationship difficulties, such as higher rates of conflict and instability. This may be because cohabiting couples may be less committed to their relationship than married couples or because they face additional stressors, such as financial instability or difficulty navigating household responsibilities.

In order to avoid the errors of cohabiting there are stages of a relationship that lead to marriage are:

Dating (seeing a variety of people) => Courtship (exclusive, not looking at anyone else) => Engagement (commitment to be married) => Marriage.

If you are asking, “well how do you get to know who you are going to marry if you don’t live together?”,  the answer can be given by the Know Quo:
   Togetherness (Sharing experiences)
+ Talk (Mutual Self-disclosures)
+ Time (3 months to begin to know)
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Knowing one another and each other as a couple.

As a member of the church, I would also suggest that for a decision so important as marriage, including the Lord in the process is something invaluable that would make things easier.